Rapture Prep:Day 1.

As has been well publicized, according to Harold Camping, the end is nigh, the Rapture is May 21, 2011, with the End of the World coming Oct. 21, 2011.

Leave it to the Almighty to bugger up May Two Four and Halloween.

Since I anticipate that the ranks of my friends and family won't be too heavily thinned by Saturday's anticipated festivities, I am presenting a series of advisory posts for the Rapture.

Today's Message : Rapture Day Social Etiquette.

1) DO NOT laugh at any clergy who are not Raptured. They're surprised enough, don't make it worse. Wait until at least Tuesday, by then it`s ironically funny, especially Pat Robertson.

2) Abandoned cars should not be driven off right away, the owner might just be getting a jug of milk.

3) If you run into Charlie Sheen, approach slowly, speak softly.........laugh softly.

4) Don`t ask any of the Dead in Christ who owe you money for re-payment....that`s just tacky.

5) Just a reminder to a-ha, Casper Van Dien, (to name a few), your careers will NOT be among the dead returned to health for the Rapture.

6) Expect abortion clinic bombers and their apologists to be a bit twitchy for a few days. Encourage them to work with explosives, film the results, post on FB. Share the laughs.

I hope today`s hints were helpful. Remember, we can all have a fun Rapture if we are polite to each other.

Tomorrow : Post-Rapture Career Opportunities.

Bin Laden's dead..so far so good.....so now what?

So Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy SEALS in Pakistan, apparently in Islamabad.. Now what? I find myself wondering if this is just preparing to wrap up the "War on Terror" or if it was taking advantage of new intel.

The web is buzzing with "they knew where he was for years" theories (I expect mainly from the tinfoil fedora crowd), and the remains are shark shit by now, so there will be the inevitable Elvis-like sightings for the next 30 or so years.......(Osama flipping burgers at a White Castle in Poughkeepsie NY has a certain Enquirer feel to it.)


All that aside, what has been achieved? Tomorrow, somebody, somewhere will decide that the best way to express his/her dissatisfaction with the status quo is to make something and/or someone go boom.

What has changed?

Osama is dead, but a war that is impossible to win will drag on, as soon as a a new causus belli is found.

Daylight come and we had to go home.....

Aaaah...the week in Jamaica (mon)....the Red Stripe beer, the rum, the sun, the fat European in the little black Speedo (every paradise needs a dark spot). A week in the sun after 7 years without a vacation, me, my lovely missus.

Yeah, there's a bit of rum in the house....I might share.